Winning

I never win anything. I lived in Vegas for 7 years and never won anything. Not that I’m a big gambler or that I even enjoy gambling. (Okay I do like to play poker with friends once in awhile but it’s for quarters.) But I don’t even think I’ve ever even won on a scratch ticket from McDonalds.

So our company picnic was this weekend. Very hot. 105. Very hot. But I like to socialize once in awhile and I knew there would be lots for the kids to do. So we braved the sweltering heat. We had hot dogs, snow cones, lots of water and played in the bounce house. Well, Makayla played in the bounce house. I stood there sweating, wondering how a kid could have the desire to jump in a plastic house when it’s 100+ degrees. When we got there, we put our ticket in the door prize drawing box. They did drawings every 30 minutes. Cash prizes. $250 - $1000. That’s right. I said $1000.

After an hour and a half, I’d lost 6 pounds of fluid, the kids had turned beet red, and we did not win any great prize. On to the next gig.

Immediately after the picnic Makayla had a birthday party to attend. Spa party for 4 year olds! Not kidding. It’s the cutest thing ever! Hair, nails, makeup and princess dress-up clothes. As Makayla was getting her hair curled she says to me “Mommy…I love this party” with a HUGE smile on her face. In her mind, this was the most fantastic fun she’d ever had. As I sat there watching her, wishing I was four years old again, I thought to myself how these moments are so precious. I wish I could capture them in a bottle and save them forever.

Fast forward to Monday morning at work. I open my email. I have more than the usual email for me. I’m new. I never have email. No one even knows who I am yet. So I open the first one. It’s something about safety. The next one “Congrats on winning a door prize”. What? Must be someone else. The next one, “How much did you win? Congrats!”. Holy @$%#. Are you kidding me? I actually won something? SWEET! How much did I win?

Well…how much did I win? If you’re anything like me, you know what I won. It wasn’t money. (See I had to be present to win. So even though they drew my name, I was gone to a birthday party so the cash was given to the next person.). Money can’t buy what I won. Take a look.

Snow

I thought this background was suitable. I'll leave it up as a reminder of my dilusions.

Can't you just feel the cold emanating from this photo. I know it looks really quite beautiful but snow is so deceiving. The first snowfall is so peaceful. It can be like the pages from a magazine, just this perfect white fluff floating down from the heavens. Then the plow comes by and shoves it into your driveway creating a pile 5 feet high which you now have to shovel (because being new to Michigan you don't have a snowblower). But that's ok. It's still kinda pretty.

You drive to work at 25mph because you haven't driven in it in awhile (like 13 years to be exact). There's a line of cars behind you and each one is quite upset to be behind the person with out of state plates. But again, that's ok. You are admiring the beauty of the snow in the trees. Even though the roads are covered in ice. As you take in the wonder of it all, you see a huge buck running right into the middle of the road. Going only 25, you have avoided full on collision with the majestic creature but it does slow you down even more. The line behind you is fully irritated now. But you seem oblivious. The drive home is more of the same but now the weather channel has been predicting a full-fledged blizzard by the evening.

You arrive home to see that hubby has indeed shoveled the driveway. Three times that day, to be exact. When you awake the next morning, there is another six inch layer of the white stuff in the driveway. It's now freezing, the wind is blowing, snow drifts are six feet high and the weather channel says it will continue everyday for the next three months. Is it still beautiful, peaceful, heaven sent?

Um no...I'll tell you what it is...IT'S COLD. We've already received 70+ inches of snowfall this season. Can someone please tell me what the %@^* I was thinking?

How do girls play with dinosaurs?

For anyone who can't tell what this is...it's a toy dinosaur wearing Barbie doll shoes.

Yuck

This has been one long weekend filled with lots of yuck. By yuck I mean vomit. Ok. Gross. I know.

IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH...DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST. YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT. THE CONTENTS OF YOUR STOMACH MAY COME UP. BEWARE.



Last Sunday I started feeling very nauseas. It continued Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Pretty nasty. It rivaled morning sickness (don't get any wise ideas). Then it passed and I thought maybe it was all in my head. Things have been pretty stressful lately. But then, Wednesday night Mason woke up for his middle of the night feeding and threw up all over Fred. (Insert dry heave.) Of course in the wee hours on the night we both quickly passed it off as excessive spit up. But then he did it again. Have you ever had to hold a 6-month old over the toilet to puke? It's a sad, sad thing. The poor little guy had no idea what was happening. And since this was the first time he's had a stomach bug, we sorta forgot what to do. Do we keep feeding him formula? Or pedialyte? Or nothing? Thankfully he fell back to sleep without any desire to eat. When he woke in the morning, we called the doctor who said to give him only pedialyte until he could hold it down. So 24 hours of pedialyte, he was doing fine. Friday he seemed better so we gave him formula. Then Saturday he threw up again. Back to square one with the pedialyte.

Shortly after that vomiting episode, Fred said he was starting to feel sick. He made quite a few trips to the trash can, toilet, etc. He was achy and tired; like a flu, but in the middle of the summer. He and Mason stayed in bed the rest of the day. Makayla and I ran some errands and played outside. I thought we were in the clear. Um...not so much.

Makayla woke up in the middle of the night with chunks in her hair, standing at my bedside, heaving. (Insert dry heave.) Fred and I split up the tasks 1) someone needed to help her finish puking and clean her up and 2) someone needed to investigate her bedroom to find the treasure awaiting. (Insert dry heave again). I bet you can guess who got #2. Yes, that's right. Mommy. Oh my...it was terrible. I am really not good at cleaning up puke. It makes me quite ill. I have a lump in my throat right now just thinking about cleaning it up. But like all good Mommies...I did it. I got it all cleaned up and in the washer while Fred got Makayla in the tub. She quickly fell back to sleep after all of this. Fred stayed with her and I stayed with Mason. It was a long night.

Today was better. Makayla was pretty lethargic and had no apetite almost all day. But around dinner time she wanted soup. She ate it and kept it down. Mason had formula all day and kept it down as well. Fred got his apetite back too. So it looks like we're on the mend now.

What a terrible way to spend a weekend.

Hope yours was better.

HELP ME...

My three year old has now been in her room for 2 hours. She's supposed to be napping. But she's not. During the first hour she came out approximately 27 times for any of the following reasons: a drink of water, to go potty, to give me a hug, to give me a kiss, to ask if she could get up now, to ask if Mason was sleeping, to ask if I was angry, to ask if we were going to see the Doodlebops at Nana's house. OEY!!!! During the second hour she mostly stayed in her room but was either crying or reading books. I peeked in there and she is sitting on the floor with a book, she has taken off her shorts and put on her Cinderella heels. And she's reading to her animals. I take that back...she just came out to say:

"I'm sowy for doin dat"
"For what?"
"For gettin up"
"Go back in there and lay down. I can see your eyes are very tired."
"No de're not"
"Yes they are. Go to sleep."
"But Maaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwmmmmmmmm, I'm not tiwed."
"Yes you are. Get in there NOW."
(crying)

OEY.

At least the baby is sleeping.

Speaking of Mason. I guess he's just not ready for solids. He still hates trying to eat. So I'm going to wait another month.

Kids are so funny...

Recently heard:

1. "OUCH...Mommy, your legs are prickly just like Daddy's face." while applying lotion to my legs.
2. "Are those boys or girls?" pointing at two tween-aged boys with long hair.
3. "Daddy has a pretty old car. When I'm 16 Daddy will fix it and I can drive it." talking about Fred's '69 Toyota Corona sitting in the garage.
4. "That monkey has a funny bottom." pointing to a monkey at the zoo.

How hard can it be to make an apron?

Ok...for whatever reason I've had an irresistible urge to wear an apron. I have no idea when this developed or why. All I know is I want one.

So Julaine sent me a link to a blog on how to make an apron. At first I was a little skiddish about the idea of making my own; even though the blogger said it was for beginners and super easy. Instead I decided to look on etsy. Oh man that's an addicting website. It's also totally sickening to see how creative some people are. And by sickening I mean that I'm totally jealous. Of course after looking on their for hours I thought to myself that maybe I could make one. So I went to ebay to search for fabric.

Again...totally addicting. There are thousands of fabrics on ebay. Way too many to look through. But then one caught my eye. After reading the description I saw it was by a specific fabric designer, Alexander Henry. This of course sent me on a search for only Alexander Henry fabrics. If you like fabric, you should check out some of his prints. They are super cute. After browsing his fabrics for awhile I saw one that I recognized from an apron on etsy. This was like the giant lightbulb in my head...I can do this. If that lady could do it well so can I.

So I called the local fabric store to see if they carried Alexander Henry, Apples & Pears print. Of course they didn't. Which again sent me back to ebay. I spent a lot of time debating whether or not I'd pay $8 a yard for fabric on ebay. I decided not to. Instead I thought I'd just go to the fabric store and check myself. I was just about to decide that I wasn't going to do this and I spotted IT. It was THE fabric. The exact one I had called about and they said they didn't have it. I swear I saw a halo just above it. I was so excited...over fabric...I know this sounds ridiculous but it was like some sort of creative being was possessing me. I needed this fabric.

Of course I also needed a second fabric to compliment this one and serve as a trim to my future perfect apron. This caused nearly as many hours of searching and resulted in 2 trim fabrics because I couldn't decide which I liked better. Then I had no idea how much I needed of each so I got 2 yards of THE fabric and one yard each of the others. This cost a whopping $23. This better be an awesome apron.

I'm nearly high with excitement over this purchase and can't wait to get home to start on my project. I get online and obtain the simple directions. I start cutting away. Then I realize I need to get out the sewing machine. This machine cost me about $20 at WalMart 10 years ago and has been stored in the garage since 2001 when I did my last project. I no longer have the directions and pretty much have to wing it when it comes to threading the dumb thing. It took me thirty minutes and lots of f-bombs to figure out the bobbin for the thread underneath. Stupid machine. Now it's finally working and I can't start.

I carefully follow the instructions online. These are by no means easy directions...what exactly is she saying when she says 'press open'. Also when she says 'leave one end unsewn' that means the short end not the long end. Whatever. So I messed that part up a little. This has taken me several hours now just to get a couple of peices sewn. But I get that done and now I need to sew on the trim for the top and bottom and the ties. Everything is pinned in place. I step on the foot pedal and the stupid needle will not go through the layers of fabric. Of course I said a few f-bombs and continued to stop on the pedal repeatedly. Still no luck. So I try to force each stitch. Nothing happens. Then I force it some more and the thread breaks. Now I have to re-thread the needle. I'm getting angry. I re-thread and try again. Nothing. The thread breaks again, the bottom thread has run out. And I'm about out of patience. Ok...one last time. I spool a new bobbin and thread the needle again. Everything is in place, I'm secretly praying, please let this work, I press the pedal.......Nothing. OH MY GOODNESS...I WANT TO THROW SOMETHING. I want to kick the machine. I want to scream. I'm so close. Dumb thing.

So I get back on etsy and order the one I wanted in the first place. I'm putting the sewing machine in the garage sale next time. And my hand-made apron will sit in the closet half done for eternity. Whatever. I have a cuter one coming in 2-5 days.

By the way, does any need 3 yards of fabric?

Terrible Twos?

I can't, for the life of me, figure out why people call the toddler stage 'The Terrible Twos'. This has got to be the biggest parenting lie out there. I don't know if other parents have lied to us on purpose...I can just see all the parents before me laughing as I breeze through toddlerhood with ease. Or have they lied to us simply because they have amnesia?

What I'm trying to say is that the twos are easy. Two-year olds rarely fight back and if they do it's pretty easily remedied with a quick time-out. Two-year olds listen when you say 'Eat your vegetables', 'Stay right here next to me', 'Get dressed'. They actually love doing what you ask and helping out. To all those parents who are either in the two year stage or are about to be there, I am an honest parent who wants you to know that you should enjoy every moment of this stage. And if you think it's hard...well then you may not survive the three-year old stage!

Heaven help me survive the third year! I beg of you...give me patience...give me strength.

The third year has so far been quite difficult (and we're only a month in). Selective hearing has begun. If you say get your shoes on because we're going to the store, it could take up to 30 minutes to get out the door. But if you say get your shoes on because we're going for a bike ride, well then the shoes are on in a mere 30 seconds. The art of delaying everything has also begun. Some methods used to delay going to bed include: asking for a drink of water, needing to go potty, asking for a back rub, asking for another book, asking for another hug and kiss, asking for anything and everything that comes to mind. Self-expression has developed into a vocabulary that includes NO, poopy head, fine-whatever, NO, nanananabooboohead, and more NO. And last but not least, three year olds do not listen. They do not listen when you ask them to do something. They do not listen when you say NO. They do not listen when you say 'That's enough' or 'Stop' or 'Please don't wake your brother'. They simply do not listen. Oh and I forgot...three year olds do not have an inside voice. They seem to yell everything. Oh yeah, and they act crazy. Like they've had 16 candy bars crazy. Out of control crazy.

Three year olds are truly exhausting. I'm not saying I don't love my daughter or appreciate the gifts I've been given. I'm just saying it's hard. And I'm trying to make the best of it and keep my sanity. I often chant 'this too shall pass' over and over in my head. Because I know it will. And one day I'll wish she was still a little girl and I'll wonder where all that time went. But for now, I'm tired.

When kids are quiet...

...it's usually because they are doing something they aren't supposed to be doing. Makayla has never really been the kind of kid to garb a marker and scribble on the wall. But today she was being very quiet while playing in her room. I don't think we really noticed at first. Then she came out and proudly exclaimed "LOOK! LOOK! Look what I did!".

Of course she thinks stamps are for your arms. Every time we go to a doctor's office or gymnastics or anywhere else kid friendly, she gets either a sticker or a stamp. And the stamp is always on the hand. So it only makes sense to a kid that a stamp goes on your arm. And because one stamp is fun, well 50 stamps all over your arm must be even better!!!

Doctor Visit

NOTE TO SELF: Do not ever attempt to bring both kids to the doctor at the same time again.

What a disaster. I thought it would be a good idea to take both kids to the doctor at the same time for their checkups. Someone should have hit me on the head like in those V8 commercials. OMG...as soon as the nurse called us back Makayla started screaming. Fred had to carry her. Come on now, she's 3! She didn't even want to stand on the scale. So I'm carrying Mason, the diaper bag, coats, the car seat and Fred is trying to make Makayla stand on the scale and then have her height checked. Mason is screaming because it's time for him to eat. And I'm sweating. We get in the room and the nurse tells me to undress Mason so we can check his weight. Makayla is still crying, Mason is now in hysterics because he hates laying flat on his back. I'm still trying to undress him and the nurse is simultaneously trying to measure his head and his length. Then we weigh him and get back to the room and she asks if there's anything specific we want to talk to the doctor about and I can't even talk loud enough for her to hear me over the screaming so I just say no.

By the time the doctor comes in everyone is settled down. Mason has eaten and Makayla is calm. So we start with Makayla. It actually started out pretty fun. The doctor asked her to play some games with him...she had to jump on the green square on the floor and then sing a song. She got to ask the doctor her questions (Can I take vitamins? Do I still need my ear plugs?). All was well until he asked her to sit on the table. She wouldn't let him look in her ears, which was sort of important since we were trying to determine if her ear tubes were still in place. She wouldn't let him look in her mouth. We even tried asking her to just open it wide and he wouldn't use the stick. Finally she was done.

Mason's turn. The doctor started by listening to his chest and belly. Then he wanted him to lay on the table and as soon as we did this Mason started screaming...the breathless kind where he screams so hard that he's out of breath and all red. After the doctor was done I picked up Mason and tried to calm him down which didn't work. So again, I had to just talk over the screams. I can't even remember what I asked the doctor. It was total chaos.

Then it was time for shots. OMG...as soon as the nurse came in the room Makayla started her meltdown. The nurse was simply having Fred sign the paperwork and Makayla was yelling at her "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...NOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHOTS". It was really heartbreaking to see her in that much of a panic over it. Thankfully it was only 1 shot for her. When the nurse actually gave her the shot Makayla didn't even feel it. She didn't even know it was already over. Then she got her sucker and the tears magically dried up. Mason had to have 3 shots plus the rotavirus oral vaccine. I knew he'd cry for a second and be done with it which is exactly what happened. The nurse got his left leg pretty good though and she said he'd probably have a bruise.

I'm so thankful that's over. Makayla doesn't need another shot until she's 4...whew! Just a note to anyone who has a baby and thinks shots are difficult, it only gets worse as they get older.

OK...now what everyone wants to know.

Makayla
32 lbs
37 inches

Mason
8 lbs 10 oz
I have no idea his length because he was screaming hysterically when the nurse was measuring him.

Life with a newborn

For those of you who wonder what I actually do all day, here's an idea. Mason and I usually start the day around 7am with a feeding. But eating is always preceded by the 'HELLO...I'M HUNGRY' cry, as demonstrated below.

So I try to make sure he gets fed as soon as I can. You would think this would make him happy since that is what he wanted. But NO. Instead, eating is followed by the 'I ate too much, now my tummy hurts' cry. To which I respond with a lot of patting on the back until he burps or throws up all over me.

Sometimes this will give him relief and he'll doze off to a happy slumber.

Then I think to myself, maybe I can get some of these chores done. Like...the dishes...

or maybe the landry...

or maybe make the beds.

But there's really no chance of that. I now can hear the 'HEY...my diaper is dirty' cry. So I rush to change him. And all I get is the 'I HATE having my diaper changed' cry. This one usually causes much grief and it's common that he screams until his face is purple and he's totally out of breath.

So then I feel totally terrible because he honestly hates having his diaper changed so I cuddle with him as he drifts off to dreamland.

This doesn't last long though because as soon as my arm gets tired and I make one false move I get the 'What are you doing, leave me alone' cry.

So I put him in his papasan chair for awhile and let him do his own thing...

until I hear the 'HEY, I'm hungry' cry again in about 15 minutes. Aaaaahhhhhhhh, life with a newborn. I love him with all my heart and soul. Now if I could just hear the 'I love you Mom' cry.